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Post by foo on Jun 3, 2008 8:25:07 GMT 1
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Post by scriptman on Jun 3, 2008 9:34:35 GMT 1
Hardly a newsflash foo....they've been planning it for 3 years.
I'm looking to go though. You never know, I might even see David Essex and Joe Longthorne.
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Post by scriptman on Jun 3, 2008 10:37:10 GMT 1
Here's one for you foo.....
A guy opened a department store in Rotherham town centre....selling potential husbands. A woman was curious, and so she went in and asked what it was all about. The store keeper said "It costs only £10....there are six floors. You may go to any floor to browse, but if you don't buy and choose to browse in the next floor ......you cannot return to the previous one".
And so the woman entered the lift and pressed the button for the first floor. The lift went up, and stopped. A voice on the lift tannoy system said;
"First floor, men in full time employment"
The woman looked reasonably impressed but decided to try the second floor;
"Second floor, men in full time employment, who will make terrific fathers"
The woman was even more impressed...she hesitated before chancing the 3rd floor;
"Third floor, men in full time employment, who will make terrific fathers and who are non-smokers"
The woman could hardly believe it....she thought to herself that the floors are getting better and so pressed for the fourth;
"Fourth floor, men in full time employment, who will make terrific fathers, who are non-smokers, and who will help with the housework"
The woman looked stunned. She was tempted...very tempted, but decided to press the fifth floor button;
"Fifth floor, men in full time employment, who will make terrific fathers, who are non-smokers, who will help with the housework, and will never forget birthdays, anniversaries, or valentines day"
The woman was positively stunned. What more could she want....but the last floor was so tempting, and so she pressed it. The lift went up...stopped, and the lift tannoy said;
"Sixth and final floor. There are no men on this floor, but it just goes to show....what ever men are willing to offer, or how ever far they are willing to go to please you......you are never f**king happy"
Obviously the woman was in tears when she left the shop. She looked up and noticed another store across the road selling potential wives. She scoffed at first but decided to check it out.... for the sake of curiosity. It worked on the same basis as the ‘potential husband’ shop...so she entered the lift and hit the first floor. The voice said;
"First floor, women who like football"
Of course the woman wasn't interested...she just wanted a nosey and so pressed for the second floor;
"Second floor, women who like football, and beer"
The woman grimaced and hit the third floor button;
"Third floor, women who like football, beer, and plenty of sex"
The woman shook her head in disdain and pressed for the next floor. The lift came to a halt.... the tannoy system came on and said;
"Unfortunately there is no fourth floor, because men never seem to get past the first three"
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Post by foo on Jun 3, 2008 15:54:01 GMT 1
lol An Army Captain is assigned to a remote desert in Iraq. During inspection he notices a camel tied up outside the men's barracks. He asks a soldier why its there? The soldier replies "Well sir, there are 250 men here and no women. Sometimes the men get 'urges'"! Next day the captain has urges. He puts a ladder behind the Camel , drops his pants and has sex with it. He asks the soldier, "Is that how the men do it?" No, says the soldier, they ride it into town to find women!
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